THE PERSONAL SIDE OF BIAS, PREJUDICE, AND OPPRESSION

The insights I gained while reading about privilege really surprised me.  I count my blessings each day for the opportunities I am given.  However, the reality is that because I am Caucasian, Heterosexual, of European American heritage, speak English and have a college degree, I have actually reaped the rewards of privilege.  I realize this has all been possible because of specific privileges.  Because I am Caucasian and grew up in a middle class family environment, I was able to attend more forward thinking schools with much more resources than many of my peers.  Without this education I would not have been able to reach the goals I set for myself.  Until I read about privilege I never realized the scope of how truly lucky I am.

In regards to institutional inequities and sexism the insight/example which comes to mind of being discriminated against because I was a female and a self-employed child care provider occurred when I was 36 and my husband had just been killed.  When my husband died the courts decided I needed to prove I could continue to raise my children (ages 14, 16 and almost 18 at the time).  I was told this was because I did not work for a living and that my husband was the breadwinner of the family.  Now that he was gone I needed to find a “real job” or remarry relatively quickly.  When I asked if he would be questioning my husband if it was me who had passed away, the reply was no, why would I?  The fact that I had run my licensed family home child care for the previous 13 years did not seem to make a difference nor did it matter that we were together for 22 years and I had no desire to remarry (especially when this happened just weeks after his death).  To say it was a fight to get the courts to see reason, is an understatement.  I remember feeling so alone and that these “authority figures” (i.e. court; court appointed Guardian Ad Litem; and social security personnel) did not see me as a person.  They also each discounted my work as an early childhood educator as well as a parent.  Fortunately for me I found my voice and even though it was not easy finally proved my point to all involved.  The person in charge of my case in the social security sector actually told me that I could collect my husband’s benefits when I was 65 but he doubted that I would even make it a year without remarrying.  At the time I just felt these individuals were just being unreasonable, now I see this experience actually falls under sexism and institutional inequities.

So far I have not had any experience with ageism but I am sure it is coming in the near future.  Every now and then my children have a few things to say but, of course, they feel the need to tease their mom.  One of the best comments was my daughter’s response to the decision to go for my second master’s degree.  She asked me if I had decided what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Her point was that I am not getting any younger and need to make a decision.  All kidding aside, I discovered that there needs to be more research conducted and published in regards to privilege, institutional inequities, sexism, heterosexism, LGBT-ism and ageism.  Since these topics are so different depending on which country/culture is being discussed, I would find it very interesting to see a greater variety of research.

The incidents mentioned above diminished equity because of the treatment I received.  This treatment by figures of authority, insinuated that because I was a newly widowed woman with children to finish raising, I was a lesser person.  The only way I can think of to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity is to find a way to educate those in these positions of authority to treat everyone with the respect due to them as individuals regardless of their gender, socio-economic situation, etc…  I think in many ways these situations have opened my eyes up wider and I, therefore, chose to make sure I had the education I need in order to advocate for those who are in need of a voice.  Where this determination takes me is still a mystery but it is currently headed in a positive direction.