PRACTICING AWARENESS OF MICROAGGRESSIONS

When I read the blog assignment for this week, I decided to observe (basically) the world around me.  This included everyone I came in contact with each day as well as those who communicated electronically with me (email, chat, and instant messages).  What I observed was a mixture of totally blatant comments which I would consider to be inappropriate in many ways as well as those which would be examples of microaggressions. 

An example of the blatant comments included one made by a neighbor about individuals who were looking to possibly buy a house for sale in the neighborhood.  The comment was “Oh no I hope those foreigners don’t buy the house.”  The family which was looking at the home was of mid-eastern descent according to this individual.  Personally, I see no problem with who buys the house.  But I am realizing in more clarity after my observation of this past week that others definitely have their biases and are not afraid to voice them.

An example of a microaggression in which I was on the receiving end of this past week was a comment made in general conversation with a friend I had not seen in a very long time.  To set up the scenario once my husband passed away a big majority of our friends and even some of his family members have chosen not come on the property since they state it is too hard for them to deal with.  This one friend had come to talk to my youngest son about something and we got into a conversation where he started asking how things were going etc… I explained things are going well and that I am still working on my second master’s, still running the child care, etc…  The look of surprise and comments made concerning how I was able to accomplish my goals without my husband or being remarried was the microaggression.  I know he did not mean anything by his comments but they still felt like a knife that people still saw me as someone who had lower intelligence and needed to be taken care of by a man because I could not succeed without one.  I suppose I should be used to these types of microaggressions since they are still pretty common even after being a widow for almost nine years, but these comments still hurt in many ways.  I am proud of what I have accomplished but it is tough to deal with those who inadvertently come across as critical of these accomplishments in some way, shape or form.

By focusing on being an observer this past week, it gave me the opportunity to really see how many examples of blatant bias and inadvertent microaggressions are actually said in a weekly period of time.  This realization has made me more aware of my own comments and words I choose in communicating when working with a diverse group of individuals.  It also has made me more aware of others around me and their comments.  I will certainly take this opportunity to be more careful in the future with my choice of words (both verbally as well as written).