COMMUNICATIONS STYLE

“Don't be over self-confident with your first impressions of people.”

                                                                                    ~ Chinese Proverb

The above-mentioned quote is something that I try to keep in mind each and every day.  I am the type of person who is a people watcher.  I also like to keep an open mind in regards to giving individuals a second chance if my perception of their first impression may not have been very positive.  This has become easier as the years have gone by and I have grown and matured.  I still seem to focus on an individual’s eyes when I first meet them.  I firmly believe that the eyes are the windows of our souls and show what other forms of non-verbal communication may not.

According to O'Hair & Wiemann (2009), it is not always easy to make accurate perceptions, especially where first impressions are concerned.  Each of us tend to perceive selectively at some point in our lives, so it is very important to be aware of these tendencies and make a conscious effort to overcome these tendencies (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009). Three suggestions which can assist in this goal are:  verify your perceptions; be thoughtful when you seek explanations; and look beyond first impressions (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009).

This being said, the application assignment for this week required each of us to complete three assessments (i.e. the Communication Anxiety Inventory, the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale, and the Listening Styles Profile).  We also needed to choose two other individuals to evaluate each of us using the same measures.  I chose to ask one of the parents from my child care and one of the adolescents whom I foster.  I thought it would be interesting to see the difference in their viewpoints since my relationship is quite different with each of them.  Once this was completed we were asked to compare these results with our own. 

For the Communication Anxiety Inventory, the score I was given on the Communication Anxiety Inventory was 35.  This put me into the mild level (i.e. 34-46).  This means that I reported that I feel a bit uneasy in some communication situations but at the same time there are times in other contexts in which I feel more confident.  Communication also is not something that I worry a great deal about.

The results from the others, who were nice enough to assist me with this assignment, actually put me in a low level (i.e. 21-33).  This level means that I am perceived as being a lot more comfortable in communicating in most situations and feel confident in anticipating such encounters than what I scored at.  In many ways this is good, since I must give the impression that I am at ease regardless of what the situation may be.  This is definitely a positive sign as I am always advocating.  If others perceive I am comfortable communicating regardless of the situation, it works in my favor as an advocate.

For the Communication Anxiety Inventory, the score I was given on the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale was 58.  This put me into the level of moderate (i.e. 53-68).  What this means is that I maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position. 

The results from the others, who were nice enough to assist me with this assignment, actually put me in the same level in which I scored when I took the assessment (i.e. 53-68).  This does not surprise me since I have worked very hard (and continue to work very hard) in maintaining a respectful, considerate communication style regardless of who it is I am communicating with.  It is nice, however, to see proof that this hard work has paid off and I have met my goal (at least with these two individuals).

References

Halgunseth, L., Peterson, A., Stark, D., & Moodie, S. (2009). Family engagement, diverse families, and early childhood education programs: An integrated review of the literature.  Retrieved from http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/research/FamEngage.pdf

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. O. (2009).  Real communication: An introduction. Boston:      Bedford/St. Martin's.

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

For this week’s blog assignment we needed to share at least three strategies we could each use to help us communicate more effectively with those we communicate with on a regular basis.  Like most of us, I wear many different hats during the day (i.e. mom, child care provider, foster mom, friend, area representative for exchange students, student, etc…).  How I effectively communicate differs from group to group.  Three strategies that I use on a regular basis, however, are:  1. Always show respect for the individual I am communicating with.  Each of us is unique in our own ways (i.e. culture, family, thoughts, etc…); It is important to always remember this if I expect others to show me respect.  2.  If we are unsure of how to communicate, ask questions.  Most individuals would rather be asked than have a person guess what they are thinking/feeling, etc…; and 3.  Always try not to allow ourselves the easy assumption of similarity.  According to Bennett (1998), each culture is different in their languages, behavior patterns, as well as their values.  It is important to remember this because if we attempt to use one’s self as a predictor of shared assumptions and responses, we will run into a communication problem.  This is because each culture embodies a variety of patterns of perception and behavior, it is important to embrace/understand the differences as well as the similarities (Bennett, 1998).

Reference

Bennett, M. J. (1998). Basic concepts of intercultural communication: Selected readings.  Yarmouth, ME.: Intercultural Press.

TELEVISION SHOW OBSERVATION ASSIGNMENT

This was a really fun assignment.  I rarely get the chance to sit down and watch television so it was not too hard to pick a show to watch.  I decided for this assignment I would watch the show “Wipeout”.  I chose to watch this type of programming for various reasons including needing to watch something that would be entertaining with no sound as well as with sound.

For those who have not seen this show, contestants of all ages, shapes and sizes go head-to-head in four different rounds of play.  Each of the rounds is filled with really hilarious obstacle courses.  Each contestant is trying to become the “Wipeout Champion” and take home the grand prize of $50,000. 

I am a people watcher by nature.  I love to observe everything around me so this was a great assignment.  While watching the show with no sound, the two commentators seem to have a good relationship as their nonverbal cues (i.e. smiles) seem to demonstrate this.  The contestants each are showing many different nonverbal cues (i.e. smiles, frowns, stamping feet, frustration).  The impression I was given from watching this show with no sound is that the commentators seem to love laughing at the participants’ expense.  I also observed just how much nonverbal cues/instances each contestant displayed during this hour-long show (minus lots of commercials).

Once the sound was turned on for the second viewing, I enjoyed the show even more since I could now here all the comments and jokes made by the commentators as well as what the contestants had to say during their interviews.  It was also really different to hear what was being said to match up with the nonverbal cues the commentators as well as the contestants were showing.  I think that if I watched a show I was more familiar with, the results would be much different.  I also believe that if I watched a different type of show (i.e. sitcom; drama; soap opera) the results would vary from show to show.  All in all this was a really fun assignment and I might just try this again in the future.

WEEK 1 - BLOG ASSIGNMENT - EFFECTIVE COMMUMICATORS

I would first like to say welcome to everyone as we begin this next part of reaching our goals.  I look forward to working/learning with everyone during the next eight weeks.  When I read this assignment I could not decide which person/situation to use as an example.  I am very fortunate to be in contact with many great communicators.  I finally decided to use the resource worker assigned to me through the Department of Children and Families (DCF).  Cheryl is my contact when I am not getting the resources I need for the children/adolescents who are in my home (foster care).  I am very fortunate to have Cheryl as my resource worker since she is a great individual to work with and a terrific communicator.  If I need anything at all she makes sure the request is taken seriously.  She always answers her phone or returns my messages as soon as she can.  She also takes the time to really listen to what I am saying as well as allowing me to use her as a sounding board when trying to find a solution (for instance) to an issue I may be having with one of the children/adolescents and/or one of the various social workers involved in these cases.

In regards to modeling some of my own behaviors after Cheryl, I certainly hope that I do take her cues and communicate with others as well as she does.  It is important to have skills in communication in general, but it is especially true when you work with children/adolescents in as many capacities as I do (i.e. licensed home child care provider; foster mom; volunteer; and area representative for exchange students).  By working with someone with great communication skills, it allows me to reinforce my own skills as well as reflect on what I may need to change in my own communication style.

PROFESSIONAL HOPES AND GOALS

First I would like to thank all of my classmates and our professor for such a great learning experience!  I look forward to learning/working with those who are on the same specialization track as I am in the future.  For everyone else, best of luck in your future endeavors!  It is always a pleasure to get to know/see how others think feel as well as learn from each other’s experiences.

As this course draws to a close, I have revisited my original goals chosen during the start of our reflective journal as well as those I wrote during the end of the reflective journal assignment. 

Professionally as well as personally my hopes and goals for the future include, but not limited to:  continuing finding ways to further my understanding of diversity; continuing finding ways to better understand the role that our social identity plays in our lives; and to put this acquired knowledge (both from this course and what I learn in the future) into practice (i.e. professionally and personally).

These are categories that I know I need to continuously work on in regards to changing demographics and diversity.  It is so important to make sure everyone feels respected and included in their community and with their child’s education.  I say this because as the demographics and diversity change in my child care and community, so must I.  Fortunately, working with exchange students has really opened my eyes to this issue and allowed me to understand that I can keep growing and learning along with the families/students/community.  The students are always willing to educate me on their cultures, customs, etc…  All I have to do is ask.  If I do not know something I make sure I ask the families to educate me.

According to Santamaria (2009), challenges inherent in serving multiple students with diverse needs (i.e. academic, cultural, linguistic, socioeconomic, etc.) have been the preoccupation of educators since the identification of academic achievement gaps in research studies and by school districts (Santamaria, 2009).  In order to be an effective educator, regardless of what field of education we are working in, we need to be culturally competent communicators.  According to Le Roux (2002), education is not just about understanding the curriculum and achieving good grades.  It is also about teaching and learning about values, assumptions, feelings, perceptions and relationships (Le Roux, 2002).  

The goal I would like to see set for the early childhood field in general is that each educator/administrator/politician involved in the early childhood field be exposed to mandatory courses/workshops in order to address diversity, equity, and social justice.  I also would like to see some type of plan put in place when each of us has to take the time to look at our own biases.  It is very important to look at our own biases as we have learned in order to make sure we can ask the questions needed to educate ourselves as well as make our classrooms, child cares, etc… the best environments for learning that we can.  If we do not address these attitudes/biases, we will not be able to establish an environment that is welcoming for everyone.  Educators, as stated above, must genuinely examine their attitudes and assumptions not only about diverse cultures but also about the diverse types of families the children live in.  These attitudes and assumptions will not allow us, as educators, to reach the point of genuine openness to others and therefore, not make our classrooms/child cares an inviting place for others to want to become involved.  Also, once we examine our attitudes and assumptions, it allows us, as individuals as well as educators, to feel comfortable in asking questions and finding out answers from others in how to improve our programs, curriculums, etc… (Gestwicki, 2007).

References

Gestwicki, C. (2007). Home, school, and community relations. Clifton Park,

          NY: Thomson Delmar Learning.

Le Roux, J. (2002). Effective educators are culturally competent

          communicators. Intercultural Education, 13(1), 37-48.

          doi:10.1080/14675980120112922

Santamaria, L. J. (2009). Culturally Responsive Differentiated Instruction:

          Narrowing Gaps between Best Pedagogical Practices Benefiting

          All Learners. Teachers College Record,   111(1), 214-247.

WELCOMING FAMILIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD

When I read the blog assignment for this week I had to really think which country I knew nothing about because of my work with exchange students.  I also wanted to find a country that I have never heard of before and would entail research on my end to learn more about.  I finally chose the country of Brunei. 

The scenario for this week’s blog assignment is:  I am working in an early childhood setting (my own licensed child care) and have received word after conducting an interview with a recently emigrated family from Brunei that they would like their child to attend my child care.  This being said, what can I do to prepare myself as well as the children currently in my child care for our new addition to our group?  What can we do to make the new addition to our group feel comfortable in our environment?

Five ways in which I would prepare myself and the children in my child care for our new student would be, but not limited to:

1.  First and foremost it is important to research as much as I can about the history of Brunei; find out its customs; learn about the family culture/environment; and any other information I think is relevant to my level of understanding and that of the children’s understanding for a smooth transition.  I would do this by purchasing a variety of books; using the university library to find articles, etc… about Brunei.

2.  Once this information is researched it would be important to sit down with the children currently attending my child care and explain that we will be having a new friend coming in.  I would then explain that our new friend is from a different part of the world and as the children if they would like to learn about our new friend’s country of Brunei.

3.  I would then make sure there were pictures, posters, and other materials which reflect the cultures and ethnic backgrounds of all of the children and families who attend my program.  If we have none of these items to represent our new friend, I would then order some to be delivered before their first day of attendance.

4.  I would also make sure there were appropriate props for the dramatic play/housekeeping area which are culturally diverse enough to include items representative of Brunei as well.  This would also include books/literacy items in order to make our new friend feel welcomed.

5.  I would also find out about what types of food are a favorite of our new friend and plan a special menu for the first week they are attending.  Since I cook all the meals for the children and the children help make the menus as well as help prepare the food when they can, this would be a great learning activity before and after our new friend’s arrival into our group.  One the second week we could plan a special menu of foods our new friend would like to try out.  We could also plan an International week were each child would think of a menu representing their own culture to share with the other students.

6.  I would also make a welcome packet and send it home for our new friend.  This way the new student would be a little more familiar with the group before attending full-time.  I would include (with parental permission) photos of the children and myself along with drawings/cards welcoming our new friend made by the other children.

I feel by making these preparations the lines of communication would be open in both directions and we would have a greater chance of a smooth transition.  The more familiar everyone is with each other, the more comfortable everyone will be in asking questions of the family and our new friend.

One of the issues which we, as educators, need to continuously work on in regards to changing demographics and diversity, is making sure everyone feels respected and included in their community and their child’s education.  I say this because as the demographics and diversity change in my child care and community, so must I.  Fortunately, working with exchange students has really opened my eyes to this issue and allowed me to understand that I can keep growing and learning along with the families/students/community.  The students are always willing to educate me on their cultures, customs, etc…  All I have to do is ask.  If I do not know something I make sure I ask the families to educate me.

It is always important to remember the following:  respect that each student and their family have a culture that is to be valued and affirmed; allow students and families to fully participate in the educational process – keep communication open in both directions; reflect on our own definition of diversity and educate ourselves in any areas in which we, as educator’s, need more information in (Salend, 2008).

Reference

Salend, S. J. (2008). Creating inclusive classrooms: effective and reflective

          practices. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson/Merrill Prentice Hall.

THE PERSONAL SIDE OF BIAS, PREJUDICE, AND OPPRESSION

The insights I gained while reading about privilege really surprised me.  I count my blessings each day for the opportunities I am given.  However, the reality is that because I am Caucasian, Heterosexual, of European American heritage, speak English and have a college degree, I have actually reaped the rewards of privilege.  I realize this has all been possible because of specific privileges.  Because I am Caucasian and grew up in a middle class family environment, I was able to attend more forward thinking schools with much more resources than many of my peers.  Without this education I would not have been able to reach the goals I set for myself.  Until I read about privilege I never realized the scope of how truly lucky I am.

In regards to institutional inequities and sexism the insight/example which comes to mind of being discriminated against because I was a female and a self-employed child care provider occurred when I was 36 and my husband had just been killed.  When my husband died the courts decided I needed to prove I could continue to raise my children (ages 14, 16 and almost 18 at the time).  I was told this was because I did not work for a living and that my husband was the breadwinner of the family.  Now that he was gone I needed to find a “real job” or remarry relatively quickly.  When I asked if he would be questioning my husband if it was me who had passed away, the reply was no, why would I?  The fact that I had run my licensed family home child care for the previous 13 years did not seem to make a difference nor did it matter that we were together for 22 years and I had no desire to remarry (especially when this happened just weeks after his death).  To say it was a fight to get the courts to see reason, is an understatement.  I remember feeling so alone and that these “authority figures” (i.e. court; court appointed Guardian Ad Litem; and social security personnel) did not see me as a person.  They also each discounted my work as an early childhood educator as well as a parent.  Fortunately for me I found my voice and even though it was not easy finally proved my point to all involved.  The person in charge of my case in the social security sector actually told me that I could collect my husband’s benefits when I was 65 but he doubted that I would even make it a year without remarrying.  At the time I just felt these individuals were just being unreasonable, now I see this experience actually falls under sexism and institutional inequities.

So far I have not had any experience with ageism but I am sure it is coming in the near future.  Every now and then my children have a few things to say but, of course, they feel the need to tease their mom.  One of the best comments was my daughter’s response to the decision to go for my second master’s degree.  She asked me if I had decided what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Her point was that I am not getting any younger and need to make a decision.  All kidding aside, I discovered that there needs to be more research conducted and published in regards to privilege, institutional inequities, sexism, heterosexism, LGBT-ism and ageism.  Since these topics are so different depending on which country/culture is being discussed, I would find it very interesting to see a greater variety of research.

The incidents mentioned above diminished equity because of the treatment I received.  This treatment by figures of authority, insinuated that because I was a newly widowed woman with children to finish raising, I was a lesser person.  The only way I can think of to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity is to find a way to educate those in these positions of authority to treat everyone with the respect due to them as individuals regardless of their gender, socio-economic situation, etc…  I think in many ways these situations have opened my eyes up wider and I, therefore, chose to make sure I had the education I need in order to advocate for those who are in need of a voice.  Where this determination takes me is still a mystery but it is currently headed in a positive direction.